Saturday, January 4, 2014

Arctic Blast, Deep Freeze, Ragnarok Arrives Early

-70 with windchill? Even northern Russia isn't that cold right now.

In a weather event that will surely strike "global warming" from all dialogue, to be replaced with "climate change" permanently, it looks like parts of the upper midwest are about to suffer through temperatures so low that any feral dog, homeless bum, or potted plant on the street will freeze solid in minutes, only to eventually shatter or explode.

As if the last round of storms (which dumped a foot of snow and brought subzero temperatures to the upper half of the USA) wasn't enough, combined with the ice storm before that which dropped temperatures by a good 20 degrees across the board (and gave central Texas a rare snowstorm) we're now in for a third treat this season- arctic air literally from the northern polar region is being shoved south halfway through the continent, such that, after wind chill is factored in, parts of the upper midwest might see 50 to 70 degree below zero weather- cold enough to freeze your skin in minutes.

This extraordinarily frigid air makes Siberia look tame by comparison- and even the usually snowbound Swedes are going through a heat wave at the moment, and haven't apparently even seen so much as a snowflake so far this year-odd indeed.

Our accubastard forecast: Partly frigid with a chance of freezing to death.

If I was a conspiracy theorist I'd probably assume the Chinese had stolen HAARP technology and were gleefully freezing us to death, but for whatever reason, the frosted air is here, and anyone that travels outside to do more than piss and see if it freezes solid in the air while it's here is a nut.

In some of these areas the temperatures are going to drop low enough so that trees could potentially freeze solid- in which case they tend to shatter like glass (I have seen tree branches explode in extremely cold weather.) Although trees have a sort of natural anti-freezing system, most of the trees native to the affected regions can't stand anything below -30 or so- and this cold will be far colder than that.

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